.Saturday, April 10, 2010 @ 4:19 AM Y
i will try to love you
Probably i was wrong. It's was my fault after all. I cannot blame others... I have to change my own stupid, annoying, irritating attitude first b4 i could say others. I'm wrong again. Complaining was not always good, arguing, fighting, whats the point of that? That just might end up losing another friend. Trying to change my attitude now. But for another person, that would be different, I probably couldn't talk to him anymore, there are no more chances for me already, What i had done, could not be corrected anymore, god should just let me suffer. Because i done so many wrong things, blaming others wouldn't solve anything at all.
What could i do? I hope i could reverse the time back, and correct all wrong things that i had done to my friends. I felt like crying, but i must be strong- willed. I wouldn't want the people that i loves, make them sad or worried about me. Anyway, nobody would care about me. Because i had hurted them too much, no more chances for me already, god had given me more chances then i should had, but i didn't treasure it, and let them wasted it away.
I hope to say this to my friends that i hurted their hearts: Sorry my dear friends, i'm sorry that i hurted your hearts, I know that your hearts couldn't be heal by a sorry word. But i hope that you all could forgive me. But if you all don't want to forgive me, i think that it's okay, because it's my fault from the starting. Just hope that your life would be better without this annoying, irritating, stupid girl interrupting your life anymore, I know that sorry couldn't cure the hole that is already in your heart. Just one to say one more time, I'm sorry...I'm such a big failure to my loves one... Sorry that i disappointed you all.... Don't forgive me, because if not, i wouldn't realise my mistakes till now... I know that i'm stupid, so just treat me like i never exist in this world....
